Mac-ese
Fuck me. It's like a different language or something. I haven't felt so dumb since I first started to use Windows back in the dark ages.
My pride and previous level of knowledge (higher than I thought it was, now the differences in teh two systems are being made patently clear) means that I will be stuck dicking around on here for ages, as even not knowing the right keyboard shortcuts is pissing me of.
Bah. Humbug.
oh, as a side note, I can't remember any of my AIM, AOL, MSN or other IM log ins. I probably should have checked those before deleting Trillian from my other machine. Fuck arse. feel free to mail me and let me know any of them from your own lists, I can probably work out the various passwords from there. Or not, but you have to start somewhere.
Oops.
Macintosh, innit
Fuck it. I'm going to buy a Macbook Pro (15"). I'm going to see about it tomorrow and maybe get it from the shop near me or online depending on the various deals available. The shit battery and constant fucking around of my laptop has killed my enjoyment of it off entirely. Reboot that, you pile of fetid donkey cock.
I'm thinking about getting
this oneTell me what else I should consider. The 512- 1M RAM upgrade? What do you lot wish you'd purchased when you got yours? Tempt me with goodies that'll stretch my credit card even further...
Bleugh. It's only money...
Julio strikes again
Well, it was always going to happen.
I may have mentioned my Julio, the fuckwitted mate of mine, who bought a house as a project to do up. Well, after having a few minor disasters inside, he started the garden the other day, and I have got the following text messages from him:
"Started the garden! Mini diggers are great!!!"I wanted to be there when he did the garden, as I have always wanted to play with one of those things, but being as I am out of the country I have had to miss out. Now. To get quite why the next text is so utterly typical of Julio and his inevitable ability to fuck up spectacularly, you first need to understand this:
His sole income is from running an internet based business from home.
Next message:
"This will give you a laugh. Just chopped through the phone cables with the digger! :) "So not only has he no income until it is fixed, he has also made himself
incredibly unpopular with his neighbour. Who
also runs an internet business from home....
No-one I know does shit like this so utterly consistently, I swear. Brilliant.
A bit of excitement
There was no breakfast at the hotel, one morning. I asked why and was told it was because someone had driven through the window into the kitchen.
Er. What?
Apparently, a 16 year old girl had gone out to move her mum's car and put it in reverse instead of drive. Standing on the throttle at that stage was a bad thing, as you can see...
No-one was injured, but some fat people went without breakfast, so some significant mental turmoil was caused.
Forza Italia!
I took Fabrice to a "great bar", as I explained it, to watch teh final of the world cup. I neglected to tell him that it was an Italian bar, and that it would be full of Italian supporters. He had to sit there being glum while they all ran around outside with their flags and hanging out of the top of Fiat 500s.
No, really. They had two proper old (1960's) Fiat Cinquecentos and they had two people hanging out of teh roof of each holding 6 foot long Italian flags. It looked amazing. I have some pictures with teh cars in, and I will sort through them soon. I am tied now, though, and am going to bed. I just was so pleased that I finally saw the french get stuffed that I had to share:
The bar goes wild on
Vimeo
Charge!
Some things at the baseball game struck me as odd, and I meant to talk about them:
Who
needs a hotdog/soft drink that big?
Why are you all making random noises at the tops of your voices, despite me seeing no discernable activity to warrant it?
Why do you keep slapping each other's hands in the air? What the fuck did
you do to be congratulated? - You're in the crowd!
But the one that I found most inappropriate and utterly bizarre was a little piece of atmosphere/crowd participation that was played over the tannoy system with a matching graphic on the big screens. The idea is that when a batting player only gets to first base, he must get ready to run as fast as he can around the bases next time the ball is struck, so that when the next batter hits the ball and runs, he doesn't overtake the previous player and run him out. So they have a little crowd encouraging thingy to try and help them to make him run faster. They play a little fanfare on a trumpet and cry "Charge!", with the word flashing on the great big screen. The crowd is supposed to shout along. Very nice, yeah?
But. Being as the team is called the
Atlanta Braves, with associated heavy Native American imagery - a huge hide drum (15 foot high!) for the cheeleading team, the symbol of the team being a tomahawk, etc - does anyone else find it a bit sick that they try and encourage their players to run by playing the call to charge of the US cavalry?
Run, little baseball player! Or we'll slaughter all your kind, steal your land and let your families die while we feed you rotten meat!
Nice. Very sporting and politically correct. 'Have a nice day' and all that. I mentioned this at the time (nothing but gutsy, me, when surounded by 40,000 americans) and, true to form, every single one utterly failed to see the irony in the situation. Now there's a thing for americans.
Baseball and Toga
Fabrice, John and I went to watch a baseball game today; the Atlanta Braves against the St Louis Cardinals at Atlanta. It was actually really enjoyable, although I am not all that sure if it was due to most of the evening not really being about the baseball. We bought the cheapest seats ($5) and just watched the game from the balcony of the bar, so most of the time I was struggling to learn the rules whilst talking to all the people around us. There was one crowd of people that had a guy who was going to propose to his girlfriend at the end of the 5th inning (they met at a game two years ago, and she accepted), and another few sets of blokes that produced various US/UK banter and embroiled John in many discussions of various rivalries covering college football (poof's rugby), baseball (rounders, but men play it) and Nascar (tractor racing). I didn't understand a hell of a lot of it, obviously, but it was all very good natured and a good laugh.
I only spent a small amount of my time facing the game with all this going on, but managed to get a reasonable grasp of the basics of the game, ably assisted by several more knowledgeable people around me, all in various states of inebriation.
The game got rained off for about an hour by a typical Southern thunderstorm, which soaked us to the skin as we had to try and shelter under a sun umbrella so as not to lose our spots at the balcony - it's pretty cut throat, if you snooze you lose, basically. When you need to go to the bar or to the toilet, your mates have to spread out to hold your place or someone else will be there and there is no hope of getting back in.
Anyway, I don't even know who won the game (although Atlanta were leading last I saw) as we had started talking to Jeff and Mike, two lawyers who lived just around the corner from the stadium and who were having a toga party at 10 that night. After chatting for about an hour, they invited us to the party. The delay to the game meant that they were running late, so we all had to leave while the game was still going on (I'd been standing for 5 hours, so I wasn't too upset) and walk back to their house. I asked them why they were having a toga party, but Mike wasn't sure. He thinks it was because nobody suggested anything better, which seemed reasonable.
The party was really amusing and we didn't end up leaving until the wee small hours. I did a reasonable amount of circulating, and at one stage ended up talking to a rather attractive girl who was much amused by my accent and some of my terminology ("Top Bloke" particularly pleased her). She was also pleasantly mental. We were making our way through the rather potent fruit punch, putting the world to rights and discussing my
new headwear until we discovered all the fruit floating in the cooler. The young lady in question then proceeded to perform the trick made famous by Sherilyn Fenn in Twin Peaks - namely eating a cherry and tying a knot in the stalk in her mouth with her tongue. This obviously deeply impressed me and I promptly proposed to her. This was followed ten minutes later by me having a go and succeeding on my first attempt. She, just as promptly, decided that was worthy of my having her phone number.
I got an amusing text from her today, actually. It is, in case people don't make the link, Independence day in america today:
"So are you going to the game tonight, or are you are you going to sit home and pout because it's insurrection day?"I can even forgive her (and her country's in general) bad grammar for that little dig. Made me laugh a lot.
The aquarium
I went to the huge Aquarium in Atlanta yesterday. I love aquariums, and I'll have to go back. Particular highlights were the Beluga whales and the massive main tank. It has a great big window - the second largest viewing window in the world - so I took some video of it:
More photo's are available in the
set on flickr.
Football
I am off to the house that the boys from work are sharing, now. I'm actually going there specifically to watch football.
Now this is, to say the least, rather out of character, but allow me to explain further. It isn't actually the football I am interested in as such, although I do care about the outcome. It's more that Fabrice (the french mechanic from work) is living there, and he
does care a lot about football.
It is Brazil vs france.
They're going to get twatted, and I want to see him suffer. I'm so evil.
[edit: Well that was bloody disappointing. The french only went and won, didn't they? Bastards. I thought I could rely on them to lose yet again.]
