Hmmm? Isn't it? Banana?

Chef of the year

When I went to Liverpool this weekend, I stayed with a friend of mine. She is a very together kind of cookie; she's a lawyer, and deals with corporate take-overs and the like all the time. A smart girl.

I was admiring her new, top floor corner penthouse, apartment (it is way too flash to be called a flat) and commenting on the hooooooge windows, the wonderful view from the balcony and the like, when I professed a conditional liking for the kitchen:

Me: "It's nicely laid out, but don't you find it's a little small for trying to cook anything proper?"

A: "Um. Not really..." (sheepish look)

Me: "What do you mean, not really?"

A: "I'm not big on cooking"

Me: "Yeah, but even the simplest of meals is going to get cramped, isn't it?"

A: "Well......" (even more sheepish look)

Me: (incredulous) "Fucking hell! You don't actually cook at all, do you! Hahahaha!"

A: "I'm just a bit crap at cooking, and all the restaurants and take-aways are so close"

Me: "Yeah, but even so, you can't be all that bad at cooking, surely. Do you just not like it?"

A: "Well. I did try and microwave a potato once. But I ended up setting fire to it... That was about as complicated as I got...."

She did, apparently, genuinely set fire to a potato. Black smoke billowed furiously from the microwave, and she had to throw it outside as it smouldered and sailed gently down the 4 floors to the ground...

Awesome. I've never realised that someone so together could be quite so crap before!

posted by Brock @ Thursday, September 29, 2005