Defining "how to unsettle a bloke"
Ok, imagine this scenario for me, if you would:
It's 9pm Saturday, and I am getting ready to leave for the evening. I am (surprise, surprise) running a little bit late to go and watch a film at a friend of mine's. I get to the door with bottle of wine and my coat on, but then decide that, actually, I'd best have a quick crap before I go anywhere. I'm one of those people that would much rather dump in my own house, given the choice. Anyway, I drop my coat and the wine down and nip into the toilet.
So there I am. Sat, slightly flustered from the rushing around and being late, crapping. I'm thinking how long it is going to take me to walk up the road and whether I should text to say I'll be late, or if it won't be late enough to bother. As I'm thinking about it, my mobile rings in my pocket and due to not being completely on the ball, I answer it on auto pilot.
So how composed would you be if you were in that situation, and a bloke was ringing, totally out of the blue, from Canada to talk about offering you a job?
It rather threw me, and no mistake. Totally unexpected. I quickly made some story up about how expensive mobiles were and suggested he rang me on my home phone. Mainly to stall long enough to give me the vital thirty seconds I needed to get myself composed and get off the can. I mean, how the hell can you talk about job offers on the shitter? You can't, surely?
Weird. Rather surreal indeed. It is a very interesting offer; I am waiting for the confirmation email with all the details in it so that I can decide whether to take it or not. But a job offer thousands of miles away was the last thing I expected to fall out when I went into the smallest room, I can tell you...
Skippy gives moustache rides
Skippy gives moustache rides
Originally uploaded by Brock. I've decided that this picture is SO marvellous, that I am going to expose it to a larger audience.
Skippy used to work with Keith and myself on a race team in Newcastle. I'm not sure whether our (hideously bad) influence broke him for ever, or whether he has always been like this, but he always made us laugh lots.
I have, for reference, NO idea why he is kissing a dummy's head.
Skippy is a bit of a legend. This is the same guy that ran around in the middle of the road dancing among the cars with a traffic cone over his head at 2am in Newcastle city centre. As in completely over his head with the base sat on his shoulders. He couldn't see where he was going at all so we had to chase after him and grab him.
He also borrowed a fluorescent jacket and a torch one night purely so he could go to the city park where he lived (in Canada) and pretend to be an official and direct 30 or so of the local 'cruise' boys with all their souped up cars into a very tight dead end so that they all got stuck. He had to run off after a load of them got out and started chasing after him. It caused absolute havoc...
One more: During a lull at work, he walked across a totally empty car park/race paddock to fetch something and decided to fall arse over tit over a tiny 8-inch high marker post stuck bang in the middle in a comedy style. He didn't think anyone could see him, he did it because it made him laugh. We just happened to catch sight of him through the back door of the garage, and were still crying and all red faced from laughter five minutes later when he got back. He'd actually forgotten he'd done it because it was solely for his own benefit:
Skip: "Huh? Fell over? Ohhh! You saw that, eh?"
Brilliant. I don't think I have laughed so much as I did that year. Never, ever, a dull moment working there.
Educating the masses
I received an email today out of the blue from a total stranger. She was amused at this clarification that I had posted on a public forum where people were arguing about P0rn and its definition. I'd forgotten all about it, but in case the humour stands spreading a little further, here it is:
Funny Fish :A couple of weeks ago there was somewhere a conversation about whats porn and whats not.... Can't remember where that was. I can remember though that the difference is very difficult to define.Posted 8 months ago.Brock:That's easy.1: Picture of fluffy kitten, sitting on the head of a Labrador dog.NOT PORN.2: Picture of naked bloke with dodgy 'tache bending a naked (usually blond) lady with too much make up on over a couch and exploring her insides without previous gynaecological experience.PORN.Jesus, some people make the simplest things sound complicated, don't they?Posted 8 months ago.
Feathered Private eye
No, not some perverted euphamism, but a reference to the
infidelity busting parrot...Top job, Ziggy. That'll learn her.
Google Earth wandering
I have been trawling Google Earth for a while (apparently the mac version is available now) and I spotted the following link on
The Register.
How cool is that? Catching a Lancaster in flight or, as is the case, catching THE flying Lancaster in flight. I had a look around that (crawled all over it) when I was a kid, my stepdad did some of the promotional shots during it's restoration. Fantastic piece of kit.
The
'Black Helicopter' awards on The Register are worth a look if you like that sort of thing, too.
Wheeeee!
55
Originally uploaded by stilmark.There are two reasons that I am blogging this picture:
One is that it looks like a great laugh to be driving that Jetski in such surroundings and I need some cheering up with the dull and cold weather in the UK at the moment.
The other is that I just can't stop myself sniggering because number 69 is being shot upwards in a cloud of white foam.
Such imagery...
Some videos to look at
I am starting to like Google video more and more.
Some impressive
Truck driftingalthough I'm not sure I would have parked
my car on the outside of the corner while someone was doing that. A certain confidence (or stupidity) being shown there...
Also, I have long had a fascination with Parkour/Parqueur since seeing the "Jump Britain" programme a while ago. That sort of agility really interests me, and I wish I could be disciplined enough to be that fit. Should anyone have no idea what I mean, there is a good demonstration by a
Russian guy and his friends (found by
George). Very little health and safety appreciation there. The amount of available abandoned and derelict bulidings was interesting too. Is a lot of Russia like that, I wonder?
