Shop dummies are always so excited.
Apex Twins
Originally uploaded by DrJoanne.
I've never understood why shops seem to think that Women are more likely to want to buy clothing if the dummies wearing them are in a state of sexual pique. Is it to make them fancy the bits of plastic within the clothing? Or perhaps imply that ladies will get all hot and bothered by wearing said item?
"It even makes Dummies horny! How great is our T-shirt, eh?! You want it, don't you, I can tell!"
They've got no fucking heads, how the hell are they supposed to embody 'sexy'?
And even if it were possible that the new t-shirt made a girl rampantly horny the whole time that they wore it, surely it would be phenomenally expensive. I mean think of the washing alone, they'd get through 8 pairs of dripping wet pants every single day. Never mind not being able to concentrate on their work/TV/driving/other activity for rampant fantasies involving blokes delivering Diet Coke and the like.
Oh, and as a complete aside, what if you had a 'liaison' with a girl in such a t-shirt, and who sported nipples such as those in the picture? They'd take your damn eye out, wouldn't they?
Hell of a story as to why you wear an eye patch, as one whiles away one's retirement propping up a bar somewhere with the other salty sea dogs.
"AR! 'Twas a dark and stormy night, and in walked this skimpily dressed girl, a vision of such beauty as you never did see. She flashed me a coquettish smile and floated gently to the bar just down from me, slightly shivering despite the obviously new t-shirt, but in a graceful kind-of way.
I picked up my drink and sauntered casually over, striking my best Kays Catalogue pose as I paused, hand on hip, to toss my thick thermal fleece over one shoulder - did I mention it was a cold, cold night?...."
That'll get their beers on the bar and their rapt attention, wouldn't it?
posted by Brock @ Tuesday, March 22, 2005
3 Comments:
'cos he's a coward!!!
Ha! Excellent post.
But no explanation of the photo - along the lines of 'It was a dark and stormy night, but Brock and Doctor Joanne were intently crammed into the small shop window so as to quietly and innocuously take a photographic close up of the plastic headless dummy's erect plastic nipples' ...?
I think the marketing psychologists would probably say that they're trying to subliminally suggest that if a lady wears one of these shirts their tits will look as perky as those on the dummy.
They just selling dreams, baby, like everyone else.
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