Hmmm? Isn't it? Banana?

Handy tips for the terminally dull

Hmmmm. What crazy mad problem can teh Brockmeister be about to banish to the annals of history? What wonders are about to be given forth from the sharp mind of a prefessional engineer? The problem?

Milky glasses.

That's right, you heard me. Now, I don't mean when you fall forward into your cornflakes in the morning and can't see where you are going from a bad attack of dripping white haze. I mean those times when you fancy a glass of milk, so you have one. Full fat, of course. None of that half milk/half water bollocks for me, matey. Big glass, fat milk, few big slurps, head back... gone. You put the glass on the side.

Then you get a bit distracted and don't wash it up for a bit. I don't mean until it grows it's own culture and creates it's own currency and national flag, like. I'm talking a couple of hours. Well, maybe until the next day. Or two. Maybe. If you are male and live on your own and don't get too many visitors. Just as an example.

This is obviously bad, and makes the glass hard to wash up. It leaves funny little ring marks in the bottom outside ring of the glass, and those of us with big fat hands can't get in there and clean that easily. Consequently, I took to never putting the glass onto the sink side for washing up without rinsing the glass and leaving it full of water to soak. I did, however, get rather pissed off that it took about 10 bloody goes to rinse the glass out. It stayed slightly cloudy for ages. Then I (accidentally, admittedly) cracked it.

Due to an entirely unconnected burst of efficiency (honest), none of my 3 pint glasses were clean when I came in from work tonight, and I fancied a pint of milk. The cleanest glass was the one that I had some water from this morning before I left for work. So I thought to myself "She'll be reet, guv" and rinsed it out and poured in the milk. I started cooking my dinner, and merrily sipped away at my milk as I did so. Come the end of the glassful, I walked over to the sink and rinsed it out. Crystal clean instantly.

Well, fuck me. I didn't expect that.

Presumably the fat in the milk (as I know semi-skimmed does it less) sticks to the surface imperfections of the glass which is why it is so hard to rinse out. I imagine that a wet glass means that the milk has nothing to stick to. It tries to stick to the water. Genius, eh? So simple, yet so brilliantly helpful! Never again will I try to cram my hand into a pint glass trying to get the sponge into the corner bit and smash the glass apart with my knuckles. No more will I cut the soft bit of skin between my index finger and thumb when I do that, or spend twenty (fucking) minutes rinsing the suds out of the bowl slowly until I am sure I have found all the (bastard little) bits of glass. I'm so pleased.

Over something so small and pointless. Holy fuck, my life is dull.

posted by Brock @ Thursday, March 17, 2005