Hmmm? Isn't it? Banana?

The tour of the truck

After the last race in Cleveland, I decided to come back in the Truck with John, rather than in the crewbus. Partly because it had a bed in it so I could get some much needed sleep, but also because the crazy dangerous frenchman was driving the crewbus, and I didn't want to die.

The journey took the best part of 14 hours over two days, and we were bored. This was in one of those moments where I was trying to find something to do. We'd gone through all John's CD's and had enough of them, the radio was obviously shite, so we turned to being stupid and looking out the window at the other cars to spot fit women (preferably in short skirts). There was one particularly amusing moment in some traffic as we passed Knoxville where I was leant right over the dash looking out the window and laughing with John when the CB sparked up asking

"How's the window shopping over there?"

The guy in the next truck (my side) was in stitches at me diving over the dashboard whenever John called me over;

"Dammit, it's not just I can't see the fine women you two are looking at, it's that I have to look at his (ie my) damn ass, instead!"

It made us laugh. It reminded John of a late night CB chatter he was listening to between a couple of other trucks (they get so bored and chat all the time) as they were driving along somewhere a few years ago:

Trucker A: "So, how's the traffic moving on 67?"

Trucker B: "Pretty good, I'd say. I'm humming along, pretty much".

(pause)

Trucker B: "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

Trucker A: "Sure"

Trucker B: "Can I stick my finger up your ass?"

At this stage, John nearly drives into a ditch pissing himself laughing, and the radio erupts with guys laughing and Trucker A effing and jeffing at the other bloke. He had a bit of a sense of humour failure, apparently.

Still, stories like that whiled away the hours. Combined with me deciding to dance along to the radio for a bit as we drove along. It was night time, so John turned on the cab lights and I did some stupid dancing in the space in the back. It only lasted a few minutes, as John hit a bump (american roads suck donkey cock in the North) and I overbalanced and fell down like a sack of shit - closely missing twatting myself in the head with the gearstick. Apparently, John is of the opinion that there is "Something missing in your head, boy!"

(The video ends badly as John got a call on his phone, but I left that bit on. Mainly because I couldn't be arsed to edit it out.)

posted by Brock @ Tuesday, June 27, 2006