Not prying
I had an interesting email today. It sparked my grey matter off a bit, and made me attempt to analyse myself a little. Not something I try and do more than I have to. It was mentioned by the individual in question that I had referred to something personal, and that I may want to talk about it. It was suggested (in the tentative offer of a friendly ear) that why would I blog about it if not? My reply interested me as I started to type it, so I decided to put it here in a sort of open letter:No-one ever said I was normal...
I don't blog for attention, and I don't particularly blog to convey information to be perfectly honest. In fact I'm not really sure why I do blog. I have put fairly personal stuff on there before, and once VERY personal stuff, but it is not particularly to get any reaction. I'm happy if people want to come back and read regularly, but wouldn't want to try and pander to an audience to make them come back. I'd only be interested/pleased if they wanted to of their own accord. Basically, while I appreciate the offer, I didn't write about it because I wanted to talk about it. Your comment "otherwise why blog about it" made me wonder why I do.
The only answer that I can come up with is that I don't know. I like to write well (in my opinion), and I would, if I'm brutally honest, like to think that people think I write well. I also like to make people laugh.
But then, I also like to have mad, passionate sex with Scandinavian twins on a reindeer skin covered water bed in front of a log fire, but some things are harder to get regularly than others, I suppose. Ho hum.
I don't 'talk' about stuff. Pretty much any stuff, really. I've found that I can vent stuff through writing (to go all wanky for a minute), but I don't need to write about the stuff that caused the pressure to make a difference. Does that make any sense? I've put stuff into words and never done anything with them before, just deleted them. I've just never been the type to be all that expressive about stuff that is too close. More so than you'd think. I'm more inclined to say stuff when no-one can reply or offer advice, frankly.
So in summary, if I didn't have the fairly reasonable level of obscurity that my web persona offers (except to those already close to me in RL that read this, and the chosen few on t'internet) I would say a lot less. Basically, I am a closed book most of the time. I only let things out when I choose to, and no other time.
I hope that clarifies it all. Thanks and all that, but I shall retain my inner simmering pot of angst for the time being. It may mean that I blog better, you never know...
And now I am agonising about posting something that explains me. Weird, innit? I have no temper at the moment to wash over and engulf any reticence I have about being revealing.
Fuck it. I'll do it anyway.
posted by Brock @ Wednesday, July 13, 2005
2 Comments:
If I'm to say anything, it's that your blog is a mixture of well written, amusing and often interesting tidbits and thoughts, with a couple of rudeties thrown in just for measure and effect. Noone wants to read about the whiny whine teenager that had a bad day because she broke a nail, or intricate details about what people ate or whatsuch. You keep a good balance of things as to not get tedious. If you want a bad example you can visit my blog that's updated at best four times a year and only when I need to whine. :)
Oh and what was that in the washer the other day?
Interesting.
I tend to do the opposite, i.e. not blog about stuff that's bothering me, but talk about it on MSN or Yahoo with people I feel I can trust. I don't expect them to have the answers to any problems I may be experiencing, but I find a find a sympathetic ear is comforting.
This is probably wht I scrapped my blog. Some of the stuff I was writing in there would be better dealt with in discussion with someone.
I suppose we all deal with our angst in our own way.
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