Must pay attention when shopping
I went shopping on Saturday. Not only did I forget milk, loo roll, washing up liquid and coffee (those that know me well will realise what an issue this is), but I also managed to remember to buy soap.Great, you may think. Well, not exactly. I just grabbed the 4 pack of soap and didn't even look at the packaging. I only opened it today. Now I am resigned to an indeterminate length of time (about 4 bars of soap worth) where my hands smell of oranges. What the fuck? Who needs soap that smells of oranges? (You see at the moment, I still have the normal non-smelly bath soap, so it's only hand soap that I have in a fucking stupid scented version)*.
Man, I am so pissed off about it. My bathroom now smells of oranges. All the time. Surely only Oranges (and perhaps vodka) should smell of oranges? Oh. And Jaffa cakes. But it brings up some very serious issues that has clearly not been considered. What the fuck am I supposed to do if I eat an orange and want to wash the juice off my hands afterwards? HOW THE FUCK DO I KNOW WHEN THEY'RE CLEAN!!!!!!!!
Did they think of that, did they? DID they? No. They fucking didn't.
* Of course, there will soon come a time where I will use up the bath soap, and even my bits and pieces will smell of oranges. I rue that day. That may be the day I actually stop being tight and buy more soap. I think the idea of opening my flies and immediately smelling oranges may be a deeply surreal and pretty much 'wrong' moment. Yes. I think I shall buy more soap before that day.
posted by Brock @ Monday, March 27, 2006
6 Comments:
this makes me laugh. a lot.
i know someone with very similar sentiments about citrus scented cleaning products. i have directed her here to enjoy this too.
ew...EW! (yeah, i'm the someone.) Oh dear god, I'm sorry. You know, I won't judge you if you throw it away. Now.
In answer to your question about knowing if your hands are clean after eating an orange; When you eat an orange, your hands are sticky, as well as smelling of oranges. If you wash your hands with orange soap, your hands may still smell of oranges, BUT THEY WON'T BE STICKY. QED
re your footnote, it occurs immediately to me that that would be the ideal opportunity to pop on an eyepatch then open your flies and walk around going "arrr, suck on that, ye scurvy dog"
Don't think that he doesn't already do that.
Oi! Brock! Have you had "bees" sniffing around your crotch? ;)
where have you been lately? You're awfully scarce!
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