Hmmm? Isn't it? Banana?

Birthdays

People seem to think I am weird about birthdays. I am not writing this for attention and happy birthday messages, as will be clear.

I have never been bothered by them. I mean really not bothered by them. From the first year that I was old enough to be asked if I wanted one, I have never had a birthday party. It just didn't interest me, I prefer to distance myself from the whole concept of it. I don't mind being the centre of attention up to a point, but I have this weird kind of value system that means that I feel I should deserve it. By being funny, or interesting, not just because a particular number of days on a nominal calendar has occurred. New Years Eve is the same for me for exactly the same reason, it's all just bollocks, isn't it?

(Christmas means nothing because religion is bunkum, but let's leave that one for now...)

My total apathy for birthdays has not helped me in other aspects. I try and remember other people's birthdays because it matters to them, regardless of my feelings, but I'm just shit at it. I think I have a hit rate for remembering my Mum's and Sister's birthdays about 1 in 3, my Dad's more like 1 in 5. It does have an impact when I DO remember though. I drove to my Mums when I was at Uni and put a bunch of flowers on the table while she was out - she went on about it for years.

I tend to withdraw at this time, rather than anything else. If I was about to call someone that I hadn't spoke to for a while either this week or last, then I would wait until after my birthday because I wouldn't want them to think I was fishing for attention. Not that I even think about it anymore. It was only when the card from my Mum landed on the doormat yesterday that I even remembered that it was my birthday.

If no-one said or sent anything, I genuinely don't think I would have noticed.

posted by Brock @ Friday, June 10, 2005