Hmmm? Isn't it? Banana?

Laughing at Tourists.

I was taking this picture, some time ago. It was in the middle of Venice, over the Grand Canal on a lovely arched wooden bridge. We were not alone, there were about 15 other tourists (it was a big bridge) all taking pictures or admiring the view.

Next to us were two American girls (probably early 20's at the most) taking much the same picture as me. As we were putting our stuff back in the bag, one of the girls dropped her expensive looking camera. It bounced on the guard rail, bounced twice on the wood of the base of the bridge and then shot back through the guard rail to drop probably 35 foot into the water.

*plop*

By some fluke, it actually floated. It sat there bobbing in the ripples as we watched it. The girl was flapping, so I suggested that she ran over to the Gondolier near the bank, sat there chatting with his mates, to go out and get it. She ran down to him, and he did the whole typical shruggy shoulders "crazy tourist, don't understand you/don't want to/I'm just being difficult and moving is more arse than shrugging my shoulders" bit that used to drive me mental when I lived there.

He procrastinated until I shouted over at him to go and get it, as it was still floating there (being able to remember significantly more of my Italian than I can now!). The shock of actually being addressed by a tall shouty and, I assume, intimidating and charismatic tourist in his own tongue spurred him into lethargic life.

Ok. I'll settle for tall and shouty.

He poled away from the jetty, but just as the very prow of his boat came alongside the camera, it bobbed once and shot toward the depths at remarkable speed. Sod's law. He then looked a bit smug about the futileness of his journey out to retrieve it, being as it was always just going to sink as far as he was concerned. So I pointed out that if he'd got off his arse sooner he would have got it.

My girlfriend, having only heard me ordering tickets before this (and anyone can get that from a phrase book) was, until this point anyway, being rather impressed by my galantry and use of Italian. As the conversation continued though, this admiration quickly turned as she realised that I was arguing with a complete stranger again, and that I was the same picky bastard in any tongue.

Ho hum.

In my defense, I did point out that arguing in Italian was much more impressive looking than it actually is - I can do the arm waving bit and everything!. It was all fairly good natured anyway, but she couldn't tell that. She hit me on the arm, and dragged me off. Which the bloke in the Gondola found rather amusing.

I apologised to the american girl who had lost the camera for not stepping in earlier, which gained me nearly a half brownie point back, but it was nearly an hour before the GF started to find the episode as funny as I did.

I did eventually manage to convince her that we weren't going to be set upon by a gang off oddly dressed Italians with big poles and funny hats on the way back to the Hotel, though.

posted by Brock @ Saturday, October 23, 2004