I hope this is not a trend...
Now. After my post of yesterday about the horses and noxious fumes? Well...On my way to work every morning I drive over a common on the top of a very big hill, from whence I took this photo, this one, and this one. It is a lovely, large area of grassland, and is home to a herd of about 50 naturally grazing cows (I have been meaning to get a shot of these, but I'm crap) that are completely free to wander across this huge area. There are no fences between the road and the common, merely cattle grids at either end of the road that goes through it.
I was driving through this very morning, and found that the cows had gravitated to the bottleneck area at the far end of the common and had congregated on and around the point where the road leaves the common. They were consequently fenced in on 3 sides by two fences and a cattle grid. Approaching from the open side was myself, second in a line of 4 cars. A further 3 cars were attempting to get through the herd from the other direction as they milled around in the road, crossing randomly from one side to the other in some confusion. All of us were forced to a standstill for some minutes.
"Cows are so fucking stupid"
I muttered to myself, whilst being amused at the calfs and be-horned adults generally dithering and pissing us motorists off. They did have rather large horns, so despite my usual early morning (complete) lack of patience I refrained from leaning on the horn and shouting obscenities out of the window for fear of getting a pranged door or the like from the panic. Whilst I was sat there, I decided that my best course of action was to stop the calf and (presumably) mother on the road just outside my drivers door from trying to cross in front of my car and potentially stop there and delay me more. So I started to ease forward and close the gap. As I did this, a cow from on the verge a little way from my car suddenly (seriously) hustled forward and moved to stand in front of my car. It then raised its tail and (yup. You guessed it) fired a liquid stream of shit out onto the road right in front of my car, close enough that I would have no choice but to drive through it. I swear the fucker was looking right at me as it squeezed it out. As soon as it had finished, it moved the rest of the way past my car and sauntered up the road. It had been waiting for the most irritating moment to crap in front of my car!!
Bastard.
What is it about me that makes animals shit huge dollops in front of me? Whatever it is, I wish to absolve myself of its influence. Cow shit stinks too.
If I can focus/function before I leave tomorrow morning (no guarantees, normally) I will try and remember to take my camera to work and get a shot of the cows so you can all laugh at me with a realistic visual picture. I'm sure you would all enjoy it more that way...
posted by Brock @ Wednesday, October 13, 2004
11 Comments:
I know England is a small place, Sue, but there is more than one common here, you know.
You are thinking of Wimbledon. Which is in London, about 150 miles from here. So unless the Wombles go to another common on holiday (and frankly you'd think that they'd want a change of scenery) I won't be seeing them on the way to work anytime soon.
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I'm not going to make any comment about how many animals have decided to shit in front of you. I just want to tell you to stop using apostrophes in the word "its" when using it in the possessive. Please. It's (see? that's the correct usage of the apostrophe!) really annoying! Thank you!
;)
Nowhere near as annoying as posting it twice.
:p
Damn my lack of proof reading!! I HATE that when other people do it.
Must read before posting, Must read before posting, Must read before posting, Must read before posting, Must read before posting...
Although I can't actually see the instance that you are moaning about. Will have a look when I get home and am allowed to be on here...
Sorry about double posting - slow system catching me out.
Examples:
"...raised it's tail...."
"...of it's influence..."
Trust me, they are in there!
;)
Alright, alright, no need to get personal and say mean things, just 'cos I was right, and you were wrong, and that annoyed you!
Oooh, oooh, say it again, it does annoy him!
Well done for correcting the "it's" issue!
May I now draw your attention to the plural of baby cows? I think you'll find it's "calves".
Also, you really should refer to the "driver's door" - see, it's possessive, and therefore requires that damn apostrophe!!
Byeeeee!
:)
Actually, I was referring to the amusement that I gained from the cows lower legs, actually...
(Think I got away with that one..)
I really must stop posting at the end of the day when I am tired, and also when I think "I'd better read that again before I go to bed - nah. Bollocks."
I should fight that laziness. It is causing me anguish today.
:(
Although I think you'll find those are called "calves" as well!
Not letting you get away with that one, I'm afraid. You didn't really think I would, did you?
;)
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