Well, that's that...
It would appear that I have finally moved. It is now Sunday night/Monday
morning, the flat is almost cleared, and I have the rest to finish off
tomorrow (hopefully) before my Mum arrives for lunch. I suspect that
being as all the kitchen stuff is still in boxes, and may well stay that
way for a bit, that we may go out to eat...
I am only just starting to slow down and get my head around having
moved. I had a fantastic night out on Friday with five mates (four of
which were girls, before you ask - I rock!) and we all got
hideously pissed. It culminated with me walking/staggering home
looking at the sky in a hazy, puzzled and out of focus way, thinking to
myself "Why is the sky so light?".
That'd be because it is 6 o'clock in the morning then, eh. The stupidity
and frivolity was flowing. I shall make no reference to some of the
antics, this is neither the time or the place for recriminations and
incriminations Perhaps even legal proceedings. Suffice to say, there may
be a picture on flickr before long of the other poor fella there,
half-naked, very drunk and complete with the word "Hellfire" written on
his forehead in permanent marker. I don't know of the significance of
this particular word as I wasn't in the room at the time, but I
understand that he foolishly entered a game of forfeits with two of the
drunkest (and cunning and evil) women I know. If I didn't know better,
I'd suggest that it was all a set-up to see if they could get his
clothes off.
As if. I mean, they wouldn't...would they?
;)
We never even got as far as the pub. I
think that was in the
initial plan somewhere, but it all went a bit by the wayside. We had a
top home cooked meal (very grown up all this), and drank our way to the
bottom of several bottles of Champagne, Beer and Wine (NOT so grown
up!). We drank one house dry, and then swayed gently and good naturedly
across town to another and started on that one. I also suspect that it
was at this second stage that a certain lady's infamous Vodka's (in a
half pint glass, with just enough coke in it to slightly change the
colour of the liquid - evil!) may well have sneaked past my lips by the
feel of my head the next day. By which I mean that I was still feeling
ropey at about 11 last night when I was going to bed...
This, you bastards, is why I am still struggling to put my meagre
belongings away so long after I have been here. It has never taken me
this long in all of my moves before!
Anyway, I am massively tired, and so am to bed. I wish to thank Noel,
and of course, the four ladies for being such good friends, such good
fun, and for making an 'old man' feel very warm and fluffy inside. Rest
assured that despite my incredible ability for months to go by before I
realise that I am being slack with communication, I will stay in touch.
You just try and stop me!
Anyway, this is becoming far too mushy, and before long they may work
out that I will actually miss them. That will
not do. Think of my
reputation...
Oh. Dear. Me.
Please, someone. Anyone.
Tell me that
this isn't real. I first happened upon it and completely fell about laughing. But the more I read, the more doubt I had...
The mere fact that it is american in origin (I deliberately refuse to capitalise the country until they deserve it) is sufficient for me to doubt the most cynical and satirical websites. I mean, that's never a good sign. If there was ever a country where it is not only acceptable for freaks and fruitloops to be allowed access to the internet and loaded firearms, but it is actually
encouraged.
If I wasn't about to go to the pub, I might feel the urge to feel very sorry for the people on that site, but as it is, I haven't time. I need to feel sorry for the brain cells that I may kill tonight.
From
Sal's site. Now there's a boy with too much time on his hands.
Moving II (the Van from Yellow Hell)
The agenda today was that we (my mate Keith was hired muscle for the day) were to move the majority of my, and lets be fair here, 'shite' to my new flat. It was very tiring, tedious and sweaty work. We had the most vile and hideous yellow van you can imagine - a 20 foot long, 10 foot high monstrosity. At least it was
fast, so it wasn't all bad. It was, surprisingly, the last van left in the yard when I went to collect it because all the white ones had gone. There's a thing, eh. I may sneak back up there tomorrow and take a picture of it if I remember to take my camera to work. Don't hold your breath though, eh?
But my new flat is FAB!!!
I am actually, and probably for the first time since I was in the second year at Uni,
really looking forward to moving in properly to a house that actually feels 'home' even before I am in properly. This is due to happen on Saturday. I have a few evenings up here to have; I am going out for a meal tomorrow and I am due to be ensconsced in my local pub with a crowd of people on Friday night (some of whom I might actually know. Stranger things have happened) and will try not to get hideously drunk as a, sort of, leaving do. I would hate there to be anything formal, as the idea deeply offends me, but you have to use that sort of terminology to make sure that people know you are actually going somewhere. The people here are all a bit random when it comes to paying attention, bless them.
I wish to stay reasonably compus mentus, as I do have to pack my computer and the rest of my clothes ready to drive down to the new place for good. I will see how well I do, these things have a habit of getting out of hand...
We'll see. I am deeply worried about my lack of organisation with respect to a phone line at my new place though... I won't even have dial-up at this rate, never mind broadband!!!
Is that actually tolerable? I think not. Maybe I'll order it online later. I have to buy cleaning stuff for the Grand Finale "Cleaning of the flat just enough to get the whole deposit back". What an arse
that job is.
Freaky weather.
It has been the weirdest day. I woke at half 8 this morning and it was sunny, with little in the way of cloud. It then started raining.
It was
still sunny, and with little sign of cloud. Very confusing.
It has been like driving/walking under a showerhead with a 3 year old in charge of the taps all day. You are happily driving along (in THE nastiest yellow van in the world - I tried to take a picture, but my camera refused, on the grounds of decency, to take an image. Ho hum) without a care in the world. You are then enveloped in an instantaneous deluge that has you diving to put the wipers on full speed, even though they hardly make any difference at all. This then lasts approximately 90 seconds, and then it is bone dry again. Repeated at random through the day, and having little relevance to amount of cloud or presence of sun.
I should have liked to have heard a weather forecast this morning, just to see if they would have had the balls to throw their hands up in the air and say:
"Fuck knows! It'll rain, then stop. Then rain. Your guess is as good as mine!!"
Bet they didn't though. Spineless bastards.
This is the view out the left side of my window at 10 past 8 this Sunday morning
This is the view out the left side of my window at 10 past 8 this Sunday morning
Originally uploaded by Brock. As some of you may be aware, I have been sleeping somewhat erratically for the last few months.
I reckon that it will all get better when I move to the new flat, but there is still a week to go...
/me grabs at straws
But then this bloke starts up a circular saw in the middle of the High Street (right outside my window). You cannot imagine how loud it was in a narrow street with 3 storey buildings either side to bounce the sound off. To say it woke me rather sharply is like saying that Australia is 'a bit of a trek' to get to. It was only the fact that I was naked when all this was going on that stopped me running over the road and twatting the bloke using the saw with a chair from the kitchen. I mean. It was 8 in the friggin' morning!!!111
Double bastards with cherries on top.
I can only hope they haven't earthed the damn thing properly when they wired it up. Then if it rains just enough, it will give them a belt big enough to fire them backwards through that bloody window with their hair on fire. That'll learn 'em.
And don't get me started on the scaffolders...
Bastards.
Packing phase 1
Packing phase 1
Originally uploaded by Brock. I am SOOO bored. Whenever I have to do this whole packing and crap, I have to fight the whole boredom threshold. I work best when under pressure, you see, so the temptation to leave it all to the last minute (in the fullest interpretation of the expression!) is difficult to resist.I have packed my books, Cd's, some of my clothes and all my Hi-Fi. This leaves the kitchen, most of my clothes and my computer, basically. No bother... hmmm.
I am taking all this down on Tuesday, so this is actually really organised for me, starting on Saturday morning...
i have realised that I am out of here for good next Saturday - Goodbye manky old fashioned flat, hellooooo new shiny flash one!- and I haven't told any of the services (ie electric and water etc.) that I am going yet.
Whoooops. Now that is much more like me.
Boxes
I bought some boxes today. Along with some bubble wrap, and tape for packing all the stuff up. I can tell you are all keen for an update on the boxes. You are, aren't you?
(get out more...)
I am also trying to throw everything that I don't want away. For about the 25th time in my life. I am being more ruthless as I get older, I have decided that there is no room in my life for nostalgia as I move so often. If it is not important enough to me to take it to my Dad's and store it long term, then it goes in the skip. If I haven't used it in the last year, it goes into the decision process above. Am I the only person being that harsh?
I also (to go back to the original point) can't help thinking that £40 is too much for cardboard boxes. Even if I do get 20 of them, next day delivery, packing tape and some bubble wrap.
I tell you, I'd nearly be moved to the point of "Giving a shit" if I was paying for it myself...
Hahahaha.
That'll teach them for re-locating me.
Snatch
I am sitting here trying to get some stuff done, and trying to think of something to post on here (I am trying for content worthy of the name, despite the evidence to the contrary), and I am struggling to concentrate.
You see, the Olympics is on in the background, and the Men's weightlifting is being shown. I'm not watching it, but I keep hearing comments such as:
"Oh, the snatch was clean, but he
just couldn't push it all the way up. He won't be pleased with that!"
I mean! It's very distracting...
*sigh*
Moving house again.
What a ball ache.
I have hired a van, I need to go over to my Dad's and pick up a bed frame, then pack all my crap into (currently only theoretical) boxes, lob it into said van and drive 80 miles to unpack it all again.
I was trying to work out how many times I have moved in my life (house, that is, rather than a measure of inactivity) and I lost count. Seriously. I got as far as 24 times since I left home for the first time, but there may be more that I haven't counted. I wasn't including the 3 months that I lived in B&B accommodation in 2001, either. I spent part of this time in a house run by a woman called Freda. She had a voice like a handful of gravel being thrown into a metal bin, I reckon she must have smoked woodbines continuously for about 40 years. I had been given the number and the contact name, and rang it:
"Hello?" -
(cue sound of gravel being flung heartily)
- "Oh, hi. Can I speak to Freda?"
"Speaking."
- "Er... are you sure?"
Honest. I couldn't help myself. There was no way on earth I believed it was a woman until I turned up at the door and checked that there was no-one hiding behind the sofa, speaking whenever she opened her mouth. Freaky.
So. This will be
at least my 25th time of packing all my crap away and transporting it across the country. I must have the most travelled domestic goods of all time. No wonder my TV has crap reception, it probably doesn't know which way to look for the damn signal.
It's at times like this that I start to feel almost grateful (kind of) that I've pissed most of the money I've earned in my life up the wall on living, and spent very little of it on material possessions.
Hmmm. What a result eh? That makes me feel soooo much better.
At least the new flat is rather funky and cool, though. That does actually make it worth while, even if for the first time since Uni I have friends who live locally and who are always around to go and have fun/do exciting things/get drunk with. Never really realised how much I missed that till I am leaving it behind this time.
Christ, this post is taking a depressing turn, and it's only the third one. Cut it out, Dude! Think of something stupid or you'll bore the (probably 3) people away that read this...
Did I tell you the one about the Duck, the barbers pole and the Patagonian Pygmy dentist?
Well, there was this duck, see...
Pub Quiz
This may well have been the worst night of my pub-quizzing life.
We were last. You know, after EVERYONE else.
I may have to stab myself in the eye with a blunt bread knife. Even the girls beat us...
Bugger.
(we have won 11 times before, but there's nothing like getting your arse completely kicked to put a downer on your evening.)
Double bugger. With bells on.
Ahhh, the soft feel of virgin blog...
....................
/me looks around.
Christ almighty, there's a fair bit of space to fill up.
I shall wander among the fields of inspiration and see if I can pluck some snippets of various rants, gubbins and otherwise entertaining stuff.
Don't hold your breath though. I've been a right miserable arse recently. It always makes me rather reticent and withdrawn. I mean, I know I'm getting old, and all that, but surely I have a few years left before I am a grumpy old man?
Haven't I?
